“Operation Bikini” begins every year in Spain about this time. It’s a dark ritual that involves doing whatever is necessary to achieve the perfect summer body. If we’re being honest with ourselves, we’ll probably never get that body. But we try anyway. Oh, do we try.
It’s the second major self-improvement effort of every year, after New Year’s resolutions. Back in late December we were going to join a gym, diet, by next summer become goddesses. Now here we are, a third of the year over and no progress to report. Time for a redoubling of efforts. Desperate measures. Operation Bikini.
Every year, the fad diets come with much fanfare and then quietly go away. There’s the artichoke diet, the Duncan diet, the fruit diet, and currently and most bizarre of them all, the food inhaler diet. Yes, you read it correctly. The Vaportrim (“Inhale flavours. Curb cravings. Lose weight.”) consists of a tube, similar in size to a cigarette, that is used to inhale the flavours and smells of a muffin, a cupcake, or a cinnamon bun. Seriously. By smelling these tubes you’re supposed to avoid the actual temptation of eating those chocolate doughnuts. Since when does smelling tasty food make you less hungry? Some people might be able to dupe their appetites with this trick (olé for them), but when my stomach rumbles, no man or machine can stop it.